Mornings

I mostly like to write things in the morning, because I think that's when my thoughts are more organic. Not tainted by the events of the day. Not leaning one way or the other. And you can write about yesterday after you've had time to reflect on it. But maybe I should want to write about today's events while they're still fresh in my mind? I dunno. I'm dumb.

I was at a concert the other night. There were three bands. The first band to go on stage was called "Oh No, Theodore." They were really amazing and I wish I had of had money to buy one of their CD's. Anyways, They were really refreshing to watch play. There were 6 of them on this little elementary school gym stage, but honestly the stage didn't seem crowded like it sometimes does. They looked like they just fit up there perfectly together. They were so in tune with each other and it was so nice, it didn't seem like a job at all; which i'm sure it never feels like. I couldn't stop watching their cello player (yeah, they had a cello player, and a violinist). While everyone was rockin' out, he was sitting in his chair, playing his cello, and his face was so peaceful. He was so into it, as was everyone else, but it was in such a different way than everyone else. I loved it.

I sat and listened to two men who were busking on the street today. One was playing a drum like thing, the other a guitar and a harmonica simultaneously. I sat for a while and thoroughly enjoyed their music. I then threw them the change that I had bulking up my purse and left. I got on the bus and thought about how people like that, who can play such good music, are so ignored. And I sit here hearing all these little pop stars who are making millions, when there are these two guys on the street playing some of the best shit I've heard all day. It's a shame.

Anyways, I then came home and played my own guitar. A day for music I suppose.

anchored

I miss him,
his smile
his voice
his hugs
his kisses
his body.


I want my face to hurt from smiling again.

There's something defeating about feeling like you aren't a part of someones life as much as you wish you were.

I wish I didn't know that feeling.

i think

I think that I enjoy doing absolutely nothing, a lot more than most people do.

I am currently laying in my bed in an oversized sweater that belongs to my boyfriend, watching The Nate Berkus Show. I am very hungry, but I have no food and no money to buy food. I guess i'm officially a starving artist, er.. dancer. Starving dancer? Sounds about right I guess.

In some ways I wish I had interesting things to write about, but it doesn't really matter.

I have to go fill out some paperwork this evening for a new job, so I'm pretty excited. I tried being a telemarketer for about a week. I came to the conclusion that, that's not the type of job for me. I missed retail too much. So that's my big plans for the day. Maybe i'll try and find someone to hang out with.

My boyfriend is in Cape Breton for the weekend and I miss him quite a lot. I think that I missed him before he was even gone, because just knowing I wasn't going to be able to see him was shitty. I thought that it wouldn't be so bad really, because we were long distance for most of our relationship thus far, and I saw him for like, 2 days every 2 or 3 weeks. And I mean, it's not like I didn't miss him in that time or that it was easy for me to be away from him, but I was used to it. But I still miss him and I can't wait to see his face again and hug him. The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether you'll be missed or forgotten.

Well I guess that's it. I'm gonna go eat some crackers or something.
<3